So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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