Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
