Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
