Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
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Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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