Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he shaved USA in his pubs
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
