Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
