Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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