Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
