Its about making memories worth repressing
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
