he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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