i think i have herpe
just one?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
