so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
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come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
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Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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