dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
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His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
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My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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