Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
