i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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