he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
it's like iHOP with fire
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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