Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
