dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
