i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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