Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
