yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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