OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
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She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
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Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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