I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
