why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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