like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
