atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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