Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i dont even know how to be here
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
