Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
