Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
