I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
a search helicopter?!
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
