What a fucking waste of an outfit
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
