If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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