She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Randomize
