I wish I could teleport
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize