A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
