were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
