Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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