Me. At least after what I've been through.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
