I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
