I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
