Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize