After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
