Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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