I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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