and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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