You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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