I just saw a hot homeless man
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
