My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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