Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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