My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
