Do you still have your period?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
