well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
