I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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