Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
