As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
