the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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