You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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