Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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