It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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