Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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