So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
