batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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