Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
