Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
