Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
