I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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