It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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