are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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